When the Bedroom Feels One-Sided: Mismatched Desires

About the episode: If you've ever felt lonely, disappointed, or confused about your sex life in marriage — you're not alone, and you're not broken. In this episode, I sit down with Debra Fileta, Licensed Professional Counselor, bestselling author of eight books (including Married Sex, which she wrote with Gary Thomas), and host of the nationally syndicated radio show Talk to Me, for a refreshingly honest conversation about married sex.

We talk about the "sexpectations" so many of us carry into marriage — the quiet assumptions about how sex is supposed to look, feel, and happen — and why letting go of them is often the first step toward real intimacy. Debra unpacks sexual incompatibility (and why it's actually normal), mismatched desire in both directions, the impact of pornography on trust and connection, and what to do when sex has become awkward, distant, or nonexistent. We also talk about when and how to find a sex therapist, and what that process actually looks like.

This conversation embraces the hard questions — because so many women have been carrying them alone. Wherever you find yourself today, I hope this episode gives you language, clarity, and hope for your own marriage.